Moving On

Day 3…. So we are slowly getting used to our new normal. It is crazy and hectic, however God always keeps us going!
Something has been on my mind recently, the world seems to see all autistics the same and this just blows my mind! We are blessed to have 3 autistic boys in our family. I feel almost as though I am being fake when I write “we are blessed”, many times our lives are turned upside down because of autism, however when I step back and watch all of our children interact with everyone no matter their issue the scales fall from my eyes and the blessings shine through!
Anyway, back to how each autistic child is unique, so we have the joy of having not one, but two “high functioning” autistic boys. For those who haven’t faced this term before it means that two of our boys are beyond smart knowing a ton of facts (that they cannot control when they come flowing from their mouths), formulas (that we will never need….really), and have read just about everything they can get their hands on including their older siblings college history books, however struggle to communicate when they feel poorly (even when passing kidney stones), answer the door or phone appropriately, and textures are either our saving grace or the root of all evil!
Even though these two boys can test gifted (if they are caught on those rare days they actually try to do well on the test), they could not be more different! One is very detail oriented and often times over thinks or over plans everything. He spends hours rearranging cards that he collects and planning the perfect deck that will win at his game nights. The second one never completes anything! You know the Charlie Brown character that is always in a dust cloud ….. yep that is what we live with. He spends more time in his head “playing in his mind” than he does doing anything else. This child takes unorganized to the next level loosing everything that he comes in contact with. More often than not it is found halfway between where he used it last and where it truly belongs!
Then there is our third guy, wow is he different! So instead of being super tuned in to his surroundings to give his input on situations he is completely in his own world. Literally we have to touch him and raise our voice before he knows we are even talking to him and then he only gets the last part of what you say! He is 13 and cannot follow 2 step instructions, he becomes irate when he does not get to do things like ride his bike around the neighborhood with the other kids, however he can’t keep track of cars, hazards in the road, or where he is! He struggles with any social interactions often coming across as rude even though he is using the right words, his body language and tone are completely inappropriate. He is the kid that tells his teachers he has done enough and refuses to move forward during class, returns home and blames his teachers for him not having the items he needs to complete assignments (like the notes he refused to take because he was done for the day), and that his teachers are rude because they try to get him redirected.
So I guess what bugs me is that people hear our boys have autism and instantly look around for someone to be drooling or grunting because they are not able to communicate at all. Then we have those people who think there are no issue with them because they are talking to them, but become extremely offended when they say something rude, too personal, or break into another session of “playing in his mind” which looks as though he seizing when he becomes bored with the conversation.
We have learned over the years that the way we have to approach each child is unique in many ways, however being consistent for them is very important! As I said on day one, consistent was not our family’s strong suit! Over the years we have learned that you have to always get dressed before breakfast and brush teeth in the same order every morning. While each child needs to be treated a little different to meet their needs, they all need unconditional love, grace (which is often the most challenging thing to give…I don’t know how Jesus does it!), and a family that is willing to follow God into the wild side to meet their needs! I guess that is the major message today… we walk through this crazy life due to our willingness to follow God’s leading.
If you are walking the path of fostering, adoption, or just raising special children I want you to know…. You are not alone on this journey and that we are all striving to do what is right for our special kiddos even when the rest of the world doesn’t see it!


Something has been on my mind recently, the world seems to see all autistics the same and this just blows my mind! We are blessed to have 3 autistic boys in our family. I feel almost as though I am being fake when I write “we are blessed”, many times our lives are turned upside down because of autism, however when I step back and watch all of our children interact with everyone no matter their issue the scales fall from my eyes and the blessings shine through!
Anyway, back to how each autistic child is unique, so we have the joy of having not one, but two “high functioning” autistic boys. For those who haven’t faced this term before it means that two of our boys are beyond smart knowing a ton of facts (that they cannot control when they come flowing from their mouths), formulas (that we will never need….really), and have read just about everything they can get their hands on including their older siblings college history books, however struggle to communicate when they feel poorly (even when passing kidney stones), answer the door or phone appropriately, and textures are either our saving grace or the root of all evil!
Even though these two boys can test gifted (if they are caught on those rare days they actually try to do well on the test), they could not be more different! One is very detail oriented and often times over thinks or over plans everything. He spends hours rearranging cards that he collects and planning the perfect deck that will win at his game nights. The second one never completes anything! You know the Charlie Brown character that is always in a dust cloud ….. yep that is what we live with. He spends more time in his head “playing in his mind” than he does doing anything else. This child takes unorganized to the next level loosing everything that he comes in contact with. More often than not it is found halfway between where he used it last and where it truly belongs!
Then there is our third guy, wow is he different! So instead of being super tuned in to his surroundings to give his input on situations he is completely in his own world. Literally we have to touch him and raise our voice before he knows we are even talking to him and then he only gets the last part of what you say! He is 13 and cannot follow 2 step instructions, he becomes irate when he does not get to do things like ride his bike around the neighborhood with the other kids, however he can’t keep track of cars, hazards in the road, or where he is! He struggles with any social interactions often coming across as rude even though he is using the right words, his body language and tone are completely inappropriate. He is the kid that tells his teachers he has done enough and refuses to move forward during class, returns home and blames his teachers for him not having the items he needs to complete assignments (like the notes he refused to take because he was done for the day), and that his teachers are rude because they try to get him redirected.
So I guess what bugs me is that people hear our boys have autism and instantly look around for someone to be drooling or grunting because they are not able to communicate at all. Then we have those people who think there are no issue with them because they are talking to them, but become extremely offended when they say something rude, too personal, or break into another session of “playing in his mind” which looks as though he seizing when he becomes bored with the conversation.
We have learned over the years that the way we have to approach each child is unique in many ways, however being consistent for them is very important! As I said on day one, consistent was not our family’s strong suit! Over the years we have learned that you have to always get dressed before breakfast and brush teeth in the same order every morning. While each child needs to be treated a little different to meet their needs, they all need unconditional love, grace (which is often the most challenging thing to give…I don’t know how Jesus does it!), and a family that is willing to follow God into the wild side to meet their needs! I guess that is the major message today… we walk through this crazy life due to our willingness to follow God’s leading.
If you are walking the path of fostering, adoption, or just raising special children I want you to know…. You are not alone on this journey and that we are all striving to do what is right for our special kiddos even when the rest of the world doesn’t see it!

Yes we take up every chair at the dentist, but they all get seen!

Published by Misty

Mom of 8 AMAZING children, wife to a saint, retired nurse, and now a blogger!

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