Crossroads

The intersection right outside my house with blooms starting to show!

What do we do when we are faced with an unexpected crossroad? I have been diving into the word and trying to be steeped in God’s presence, however I am being abruptly faced with a crossroad that I thought we were beyond!

After our last adoption we had planned to keep one bed open for a placement with one extra bed for respite. So here we are willing to serve, however we are being asked how we would be able to meet the needs of the other child with so many of our own children already in the home with needs.

How do you put what we do into words and how do you show that you have enough love and support to help one more autistic child?

Here we are at this crossroad! Is God leading us to continue or is He saying well done my faithful servant and closing this door?

A very wise older missionary friend once told us when we were seeking guidance on moving to the Philippines as missionaries, that there will always be needs, however you may not be the ones called to fill that need. I get that! Really I do and thankfully we never left for the Philippines! However, I am struggling to figure out what God is asking is to do now.

Bringing in another autistic child is a huge decision not to be taken lightly as they often interact as though they are flames and dynamite! We have seen that some just blend as seamlessly as is possible for autistic child to blend, however we have also seen the explosions and lived with the aftermath of a conflicting joining of the children under one roof.

I guess my real question for the clinics that are questioning how we are going to do this is….. the same way we always have and you have been right there to see how we handle these situations, given us praise for how we have handled these situations.

I guess my biggest hurt in this entire situation is when did we become unable? I know we have frequently faced judgement and rude comments from those outsiders that don’t understand autism. For some reason those situations roll off like water on a duck’s back, however when my peers start to judge I struggle with how to respond!

I think fear is my enemy in this situation! I am fearful of loosing our current relationships with the clinics and the community of special needs parents. This has been 10 years in the making!

Who am I kidding…. my fear is not knowing how our next phase will be! How will we handle our crisis moments with the boys? How will we have to change our schedule to get the time to work the new business work? How will this new adventure affect us financially?

A dear friend that is my personal prayer warrior has been coming to me for weeks asking how my heart has been, honestly it has been struggling. I just feel like something is off and nothing I do helps to recenter my world. I have prayed, I have barred myself in his word, I was reaching out for guidance, and nothing is working! What is my problem? Hello!

It is because I was not accepting God’s leading to move on! Cue the clueby4’s!!! I get it God! Now I have to step out in faith again. It has been 10 long fought for years to get me where I am today with fostering/adoption, and looking at starting on a new journey at square one in something that I have no experience in, metal and wood working!

Published by Misty

Mom of 8 AMAZING children, wife to a saint, retired nurse, and now a blogger!

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