Well we are trying to get some “spring cleaning” as the kids say, done (I call it, this is enough and if I have to pick up your stuff it’s going to the dump day)! This may sound like a pretty average family event, however if you haven’t figured out yet we are anything but average!
How do I explain the mood and activities within our home today …. well as I messaged Ray it is like we are in the circus, as a ringleader and the tent is on fire, the animals need to be rescued, and the clowns are working to figure out the door. All of the clowns are working independently going off on their own tangents most of which are trying to open the doors, while three are focused on roasting marshmallows. Yeah that is pretty close to it!
I have a 9 year old girl that is “deep cleaning” a 3 foot wide 6 foot long strip of tile between the kitchen and the dining room. An 11 year old boy that is moving everything out of the livingroom to vacuum it. A 7 year old randomly whipping down walls. And as if this isn’t weird enough I have a 10 year old that is rotating between each of the others with his arms crossed rocking from side to side with his teeth sticking out.
And our three that are roasting marshmallows are… a 13 year old sitting at the top of the stairs listening for the work to be done, an 18 year old who all of a sudden has to “clean his room”, and the final 13 year old hiding in a chair around the corner where no one can see him reading his library book.
Believe it or not this was supposed to be productive and eventually it was. I mean by no means are we eating off our clean strip of floor, but things were done! We accomplished the annual cleaning of the decorative cookie jars and crystal that is stored above the stove in the kitchen and we got most of the laundry done. (18 years old and having clean laundry is no where on his radar! insert eye roll here)
As I sit and ponder this crazy circus that we call home I am faced with questions like, how will this 18 year old ever make it on his own if he can’t remember he needs clean clothes, he is struggling learning to drive, and he has no concept of timely unless we enforce it (like showing up 45 minutes early for an interview that is less than 5 minutes away!). Then it is how will our two 13 year old’s ever make it because they become so fixated it is not safe (you know like so concentrated on what he is having for dinner that at 11am he is walking into moving traffic or the other one having to be escorted out of a classroom during a fire drill because he had to get through this class before he could play football at lunch)!
As any parent I wonder what the future holds for our children, but like oh so many parents with children that have disabilities, the future is even more uncertain! We have 2 kids on DDD and 2 that have not qualified and are definitely not able to make it on their own! I am working to figure out how to help these kids learn skills for the future, but I can’t make them learn and even the 18 year old is not willing to learn!
Basically our house is like the movie Instant Family, but multiplied by 3! I think the big question is what does our future hold? Will our kiddos with special needs every be able to live independently (even if that means living independently in a group home!) And I think the bigger question is will we ever stop! We have said we are done several times, however there is always just one more.
And yes we live in a crazy circus and these are our monkeys (as hard as that is to say on the hard days) and no matter how chaotic it is this is our life! We complain a lot and we work hard to make a difference in our kiddos, however we are only human and events like post visit meltdowns, heartache because biological mom let them down again, and the biggest piece to our crazy puzzle is WE STILL NEED RESPITE!
Some times it is letting the kids do “chores” without my corrections, because hey, at least we have a clean strip where the 9 year old mopped, the other children are reading, getting calm time, and the livingroom needed a deep cleaning! Right????? Most of all I needed to sit, zone out for half a minute, and …. well …. wait for the crazy clowns to figure out that they just need to turn the door knob!